Oxygen I just can't quit you!!

Ok I was out killing time waiting for my daughter in a local mall and I came across this sight. It stopped me dead in my tracks. An Oxygen Bar??? Really?? I am a nurse and most of my patients are constantly ripping their nasal cannulas out so I was baffled as to why someone would want to use one recreationally? Then I thought again maybe this isn't a bad idea.. maybe patients would keep their oxygen on at work if we offered them a variety of flavors. I can hear it now. " Mr Jones would you like Watermelon, Kiwi, or Mango flavored oxygen to go with your heart attack?"  I also thought that if the oxygen was scented then it might counteract some of our more odiferous patients.. MMMM I love the smell of Mango and BO in the morning.. or evening.. YSMF ( your shift may vary) . 


Then I had another thought. This spot in the mall ain't free so they must charge for this service. I looked up their website and sure enough for $10 dollars you can suck all the oxygen you want for 10 min. $14 for 15 min. or $17 for 20  min. That seemed steep for something I could do at home with a $2 car air freshener and an AC vent. They also say they do parties with a picture that reminds me of a emphysema support group. I mean how much can you dance tethered to an oxygen tank?? And colored nose hoses to not make it any more festive... especially the snot green ones ...that just looks like you need antibiotics.  I really really don't get it, maybe it's my profession, maybe it's paying for something that is all around us, or maybe I'm just not cool enough to "get" it.


I kept thinking about this and went on another tangent. (SURPRISE!!) This is an oxygen BAR. What if you have an addictive personality and get addicted. My brain is sending me visuals of men holding signs up " Will work for oxygen" or people passing homeless people on the street saying " Don't give him that money he'll just go wasting it on oxygen"  Which then begs the question if you become addicted will there be support groups?? Oxygen Anonymous maybe?? " Hi my name is Steve and it has been 15 seconds since my last hit *inhales deeply* DAMMIT oxygen I just can't quit you!!"  Will there be a legal oxygen driving limit?? Will Troopers now have to do ABG's and  Breathalizers?  (ABG's to those non-medical folk are Arterial Blood Gasses that says how much oxygen is in your blood)  I can also hear that conversation too. " Excuse me sir do you know why I pulled you over?? Wait you look awfully pink you been hitting the oxygen too much today?  Is that a green tank in the back seat?? Out of the car!" . 


This could lead to teenagers stealing their grandmothers " medical oxygen" to take hits behind the house. Sure you start at only 2 liters but in a month your are on a 8-9 liter flow rate and climbing. ( I bet some of you now are wishing you had never clicked on this.. I WARNED YOU!!)  God forbid I got addicted my fellow nurses would be watching the monitors and  have to say " Tonya's patient's sats are dropping again.. TONYA QUIT BOGARTING THE OXYGEN GIVE IT BACK!". It would be horrible. 


Whew got that out.. and that is an example of the shit I have rolling around my head that just needs to come out. If you read it all eat a cookie you deserve it. Me?? I'm going to go stand next to this tree and get me some free uncut oxygen. 


If you want a laugh you can check out these people's website. Any medical peeps will really get a kick out of it!
http://bluecoraloxygenbar.com/