Toddlers and Tiara's.. time to make over the moms!

If you have ever watched Toddlers and Tiaras you know the scenario, typically overweight mom transforms her cute bratty child into a small hooker to win a prize and a crown and bragging rights. Basically said mom may spend $4-5 thousand dollars to hopefully win $500 and a grand supreme title for their little strumpet. There are a few that the children obviously seem to love doing the pageants but most of them are obviously being forced to do this for their parents so they can live vicariously through their kids. Well congratulations parents I have consulted my good friend Ru Paul to give you your own makeover!!! Aren't you excited???
First off to see what we are going for here are some pics of what we are going for. Pics of seasoned pageant kids.

oh yeah she looks 6

gorgeous but doesn't look her age

and of course Eden. Cute but not THAT cute

 Ok. so here is an example of your average pageant mom. I think she needs a bit of sprucing up so she can participate in her first Mrs Dairy Queen pageant. To help with these makeovers I have consulted my good friend Ms. Ru Paul!!

  A little subtle makeup, a nice wig and Voila!! She is ready for competition. Wait.. what's that Ru?? Oh yes.. she needs a pageant dress how silly of me to forget. Lets see what we have for her shall we??









Taaa Daaaaa!!! She has her flipper in, is doing her pretty feet pose and hopefully will remember her cupcake hands. She is going for the full glitz package so you know she had to go all out!!! Now on to the next!!!

  Here is our honorary male competitor. He was DYING to compete in the  Lil Miss in the Closet competition. Ru what do we have for him??

  Oh you saucy minx!!! I like what you did here Ru. And look at him giving face. that cute wink will sure win the judges over. Someones beeen practicing!!! Now on to the clothes!!









He made the outfit HIMSELF!! isn't he CUTE!! Not sure if he can pull of a Grand Supreme title but he would be in the running for a mini supreme. He does need to work on his tanning skills though.. that's gonna hurt him at the national levels.

NEXT!!!

  Awww honey.. please those bangs. I had bangs like that when I was five and I let my grandma with Parkinson's disease cut my hair. The bowl bangs have got... to.. GO!!!

 Thank you Ru!! See even she looks shocked at how much better she looks with actual bangs.  The feather will distract the judges from the extra chin I promise!!














And now the outfit is complete!! Wait?? What have you got?? BITCH put the hotdog DOWN!! You cannot keep that in your weave!! No hotdog eating is NOT an acceptable form of talent!! Do you want to come away with only a princess title?? Or even worse Ms. Congeniality?? No one wants that title because it means you are ugly but nice!! Everyone wants to be the pretty bitch!. Now hand the hotdog over and quit growling at me!!!

 And Finally!!! 

 A makeover for the grand Poo-Bah bitch of all pageant moms . Mickie Wood!! The same woman who announced on national TV she wants her daughter to get famous so she can quit work and sponge of her 6 year old!! Quality parenting I tell you Q. U. A. L. I. T. Y.  So lets see what Ms. RU has for you!

 Oh honey.... you look..... greaaaat!! Really. It's not our fault the make up and hair people did rock paper scissors to see who got stuck with you but really.. you look fabulous!!















As a matter of fact I award you the ULTIMATE GRAND SUPREME BITCH title!! Here is you own tiara now go away and crawl back under the rock you came from!!! Thank you!!